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June 18, 2011 AD

Hamburger Warfare

Heart Attack Grill
IN-N-OUT Burger

Normally, this web site would be harping about the media-Scribes pushing a socialist or fascist goal, but this is a lighter fare today.

Today, we want to leave politics behind and just talk about mouth-watering hamburgers.

Over the last month, two restaurant chains had grand openings in Dallas, Texas and both made the headlines.

Opened on May 11


Hailing from the liberal Blue State of California and especially with a name like "IN-N-OUT", and so checking before I could eat there, I had to first make sure that the headquarters was not in-n-out of "San Francisco", (if you know what I mean). Luckily, that crown goes to Los Angeles, and so I was able to enjoy the fine cuisine everyone was raving about in the mass-media.

Naturally then, being from Hollywood Town, helps explain the grand paparazzi opening that the Media-Scribes helped whip up for IN-N-0UT's debut.

In-N-Out Burger, the Southern California institution, opened its first stores in Texas to long lines, media hysteria and a few murmurings over what the fuss was all about.

A few hundred people, many California transplants, either camped out the night before or got in line early at both the new Frisco and Allen locations in North Texas that opened on May 11.

-Tom Ryan

Opened on May 18

Heart Attack Grill

Hailing from the conservative Red State of Arizona; hence, opening to protests from vegens, brought Dallas the "Heart Attack Grill".

The smallest item on the menu -- the Single Quadruple burger -- weighed in at only half a pound.

The restaurant is well-aware of its unhealthy offerings, and even uses a medical motif that pokes fun at the idea.

The owner wears a doctor’s costume.

The waitresses are dressed in skimpy nurse outfits.

Diners are given a medical bracelet when they sit down. Items on the menu are referred to as “procedures.”

But real North Texas doctors said that diners should stay far away from the Heart Attack Grill. “Why, when we know better?” asked Dr. Cara East, specialist at Baylor’s Hamilton Heart and Vascular Hospital. “Doing something that’s harming you, why would you do it?”

Protesters plan to be outside of the Heart Attack Grill on Friday, warning people about the dangers of eating unhealthy foods and passing out healthy alternatives, like apples.

-J.D. Miles & Marianne Martinez, CBS 11 News

Restaurant Reviews

The only item at both IN-N-OUT Burger and Heart Attack Grill were hamburgers, but you certainly get "more burger" for your buck with the Heart Attack Grill.

IN-N-OUT Burger proudly boasts about the freshness of its ingredients, as if hamburger meat, french fries and a coke is as healthy as -- Humm, how would REAL North Texas doctors say this? -- as healthy as REAL healthy alternatives -- like apples. However, I found the Thousand-Island style sauce IN-N-OUT placed on my "Big Mac" burger, all without asking me, to be very fattening.

In contrast, burgers from Heart Attack came completely dry with no extra sauces. I could really enjoy this fine burger without concerns that I was busting my calorie counter -- and better yet, I had enough burger left for lunch the next day.

A real treat at the Heart Attack Grill was the imported liqueurs from Mexico. The entire bottle was left at the table for sipping REAL coke made with REAL sugar. The best IN-N-OUT had was cola concentrate served from a fountain machine and made with unnatural, unhealthy and artificial high fructose corn syrup. Ugh!

I found the atmosphere in both quite different. While the IN-N-OUT Burger's fake palm trees reminded me more of a cheap mexican restaruant, certainly the most memorable and entertaining moment was the gigantic "bib" one wears at the Heart Attack Grill, which puts all lobster bibs to shame. No concerns here about ketchup stains!

Not to leave out the entertainment of the Lovely and sexy hostess/nurse at the Heart Attack who was most gracious to pose for photos with all involved -- oh, and IN-N-OUT -- they didn't even have a hostess.

Feels wonderful to be able to leave politics aside for a while to discuss what joins all American's together -- America's food -- hamburgers.


Tom Ryan
In-N-Out Burger Lands in Texas

J.D. Miles & Marianne Martinez, CBS 11 News
Protestors Ready To Battle Heart Attack Grill

In-N-Out Burger

Heart Attack Grill

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Church and State

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